"Absentee Fathers" part 1
(c) lenonhonor.com All rights reserved.
(c) lenonhonor.com All rights reserved.
I was sitting here cuddling my son while wondering what to write about when
my wife says, "You know what?  You are the only man that I have ever known
who actually takes care of his children."

I didn't respond.  I just sat there for a while.  Then I started thinking about all of
the people that I know who never knew their fathers.  I thought about all of the
women in my family who married, had children, only to have their husbands or
boyfriends leave.  I thought about all of the men in my family who decided not
to be involved in their children's life.  Then I wondered: Why is it that there
seems to be this devastating cycle of absentee fathers?  Is it a class specific
phenomena?  It is the inevitable result of sexism or racism?  What can be
done about it?

I don't think that their is a complete answer to any of these questions.  I have
read where intellectuals try to source all kinds of contributing factors to
absentee fathers.  Some say that fathers who never had their own fathers
present in their lives find it too difficult to function as fathers.  But my own
father was absentee for at least a third of my childhood and as my wife can
now attest, I am extremely committed to my children.  Some people say that
absentee fathers amongst African-Americans is largely due to the holocaust
of African enslavement; that it broke up the family unit and programmed
African-American men to function in a less committed fashion.  But a fourth of
my own heritage stems from enslaved Africans.

Is absentee fathers a class specific phenomena?  Is it the result of sexism or
racism?  What can we do about it?  I will explore these questions in future
articles.
-Lenon Honor