For the last 4 years I have disseminated my own film work, music, articles, books, etc. over the internet and have impacted the lives of millions of people around the world. In the process I have met many different types of people. When I say many different types of people I am referring to the various psychological makeups that can be inferred simply by analyzing what people write, how they write, the energy behind what they right, the keywords that they use while writing, and the general path of any given online conversation. This is to say that it is possible to get a glimpse into the psychological makeup of individuals that we converse with online (Cyber-Psychology).
Through the internet I have met many wonderful people, people who I consider to be friends. I have also met some very disturbed people; people who were emotionally and psychologically unstable, extremely negative, excessively argumentative, and in some cases threateningly violent.
When it comes to the internet it is important that we are clear about the mental condition of the individuals that we may be interacting with. Not all individuals that we interact with over the internet will be of sound mind. In fact, I have found that a large percentage of the interactions over the internet are rooted in false projections of self; projections that are sourced from a psychological need for egocentric attention.
I define egocentric attention as: The need to gain the attention of others without establishing and maintaining a mutually beneficial relationship.
Each of us deserves to experience the best that life has to offer. When we are experiencing the best that life has to offer we must be sure to appreciate and to protect such a condition. The internet can either bring to you the people who will help you to maintain and grow such a condition or the internet can bring to you the people who will seek to consciously or subconsciously devolve such a condition. How to appropriately deal with the people who seek to devolve your condition will be the focus of this particular article.
To begin I’d like to share my perspective on the 4 primary behavior patterns that I have observed within individuals who consciously or unconsciously seek to devolve the condition of others over the internet. The 4 primary behavior patterns are:
1. Being unnecessarily negative
2. Being unnecessarily argumentative
3. Being quick to emotional tantrums
4. Being verbally threatening
There are people on the internet who will find any excuse to be negative. It does not matter what you have done for them or what you have given to them. Negative people will always find something to be negative about.
Part of this behavior pattern stems from what can be called Egocentric Attention Disorder (E.A.D.) which manifests as the need to gain the attention of others without establishing and maintaining a mutually beneficial relationship.
Obviously being unnecessarily negative cannot function to establish a mutually beneficial relationship. Therefore, in order to establish or to maintain peace and positivity in your life it is important that negative individuals are avoided at all cost.
There are people on the internet who are not interested in establishing a mutually beneficial relationship. In some cases such individuals are merely looking for someone to argue with. This begs the question, “Why go online to find someone to argue with when you can go online to find someone to establish a positive relationship with?”
The truth of the matter is that there are individuals who perceive arguing as being synonymous with receiving love. In other words, there are people who actually feel loved while engaged in unnecessary and excessive arguing.
For some time now I have contended that all arguments are destructive in nature and are rooted in an emotion-based behavior pattern present in most children. Those who have not progressed beyond thinking and behaving in childish ways, or those who have been indoctrinated into thinking and behaving in such ways, will constantly seek arguments as a means of fulfilling their subconscious need for love.
You will also find that if you engage such individuals by arguing with them, they will arbitrarily and irrationally create more things to argue about so as to establish more avenues of fulfilling their subconscious need for love.
The behavior pattern of unnecessary and excessive arguing is also symptomatic of the Egocentric Attention Disorder (E.A.D.) which manifests as the need to gain the attention of others without establishing and maintaining a mutually beneficial relationship. Obviously, perpetual arguing cannot function to establish or to maintain a mutually beneficial relationship. Therefore, in order to establish or to maintain peace and positivity in your life it is important that individuals who are unnecessarily argumentative are avoided at all cost.
There are people on the internet who are quick to emotional tantrums. These tantrums are rooted in an emotion-based behavior pattern present in most children. In many cases the adults who are quick to emotional tantrums do not have a real life outlet to express themselves and so they use the internet as the means of expressing their repressed emotions. In such cases the internet becomes a cyber-dumping ground where individuals selfishly express their repressed emotions without having to establish and maintain a mutually beneficial relationship.
I must also mention that emotional tantrums will often manifest in people who are unnecessarily argumentative. Understand that many of these individuals do not have a legitimate argument in the first place. Therefore they will arbitrarily create topics and issues to argue about as a means of maintaining their connection to you. In such cases what you will find is that the longer the argument continues the more irrational such individuals become. At a certain point such individuals will resort to ultra-emotionalism in the form of foul language, cursing, the use of exclamation marks, writing in ALL CAPS, verbalized personal attacks, physical threats, ad hominem attacks, and other displays of excessive negativity. Therefore, in order to establish or to maintain peace and positivity in your life it is important that individuals who are quick to emotional tantrums are avoided at all cost.
One of the fascinating aspects of the internet is how many individuals are given a false sense of courage and power while sitting comfortably behind their computer screens. This being the case, you will find that there are people on the internet who actively search for opportunities to be verbally threatening towards others. In being verbally threatening to others such individuals “feel” relevant, courageous, and powerful. You will also find that many of the individuals who are verbally threatening online are suffering from a sense of internal powerlessness in real life.
As a psychological defense mechanism this sense of powerlessness is resolved through external displays of perceived power i.e. verbal threats/cyber-bullying. Such individuals are not mentally stable in that they perceive the act of threatening others as a respectable means of social interaction.
For some people the perception of verbal threats as being a respectable means of social interaction stems from their childhood wherein their parents, teachers, religious leaders, etc. threatened them with verbal outbursts such as “If you do not listen to what I say then I will spank you”, “If you do not learn what I tell you to learn then you will be given an F”, “If you don’t believe in my god then you will go to hell”. These external displays of perceived power can be internalized by the child as being a respectable means of social interaction. Whether it is parents, teachers, or religious leaders, threatening children will not and cannot function to establish and maintain mutually beneficial relationships.
Whether it be in the real world or in the virtual world individuals who are verbally threatening to others are not interested in establishing or maintain mutually beneficial relationships. Such individuals are interested in the illusion of power, control, and domination. Therefore, in order to establish or to maintain peace and positivity in your life it is important that individuals who are verbally threatening are avoided at all cost.
The internet is like a superman/superwoman outfit that some people put on to feel powerful. Once transformed by the internet-outfit a person may say things to you that they would not dare say in person. If you watch carefully you will find that such individuals will exhibit the behavior patterns of being unnecessarily negative, unnecessarily argumentative, quick to emotional tantrums, and verbally threatening.
Ultimately you have the power to either engage such individuals or to simply dismiss them from your space. If you are committed to living the best life that you possibly can then please be clear as to the nature of the relationships that you establish over the worldwide web. If such relationships are not mutually beneficial then you must reassess the legitimacy of those relationships. Understand that many of the relationships that are established over the internet are in actuality “virtual in nature” and are not rooted in a humanistic exchange wherein love, peace, and positivity is given and received.
My name is Lenon Honor and I thank you for reading this article. Please be so kind as to post your thoughts below. Blessings to you.
Copyright © 2011 Lenon Honor