Regardless of the challenges that Ayida and I face, we both tend to have a positive attitude and a loving disposition towards each other. When I am feeling down about a particular challenge that we may be facing my wife is careful to lift me up with extra kindness. When my wife is feeling down about a particular challenge that we may be facing I do my best to lift her up with extra kindness. In this way we work together to maintain our positive relationship.
In some relationships we may find that one person has a generally positive attitude while the other has a generally negative attitude. In such a case one person will perceive and nurture the positives present in the relationship while the other may perceive and nurture the negatives present in the relationship; in many cases the person who has the negative attitude will perpetually create negative situations and circumstance so as to manifest more negative things to focus on; this is what I call “Relational Self-Sabotage”.
I have seen relationships wherein one person is profoundly positive while the other is profoundly negative. The profoundly positive individual will do whatever they can to make the relationship work. Keep in mind that a “working relationship” does not mean that the relationship is amicable for both parties; it simply means that the relationship is manageable long term regardless of the fact that the relationship itself is not positive.
The profoundly negative individual will do whatever they can to either consciously or subconsciously devolve the nature of their relationships. Such an individual can only function to maintain imbalance within their relationships; their own negativity fostering higher and higher levels of imbalance.
These things being said, it is important to realize that in order for one to develop a successful relationship there must be a mutually beneficial exchange between both parties. The person that maintains a positive attitude and a loving disposition will always be of benefit to the person that maintains a negative attitude and a conflict-based disposition. However, the person that maintains a negative attitude and a conflict-based disposition will not be of benefit to the person that maintains a positive attitude and a loving disposition.
If we wish to develop successful relationships each of us must seek out and support those that can give to us the goodness that we give to them. In this way our relationships will be positive, enjoyable, and mutually beneficial.
Copyright (c) 2011 Lenon Honor