Formula for Successful Relationships: Collective Growth

Published on December 6, 2011 by in Uncategorized


Many perceive the growth process to be a solitary experience wherein the individual grows by themselves.  However, in the context of male-female relationships nothing is experienced in a vacuum.  What I mean by this is that all that is experienced by one individual will also be directly or indirectly experienced by their partner.  Stated another way, all levels of growth that an individual experiences will also be experienced directly or indirectly by their partner.

One of the common occurrences within male-female relationships is where one person grows in a particular area of their life while their partner does not.  In such cases the partner will still be directly or indirectly affected by such growth.  In some cases the partner may see such growth as a source of inspiration.  In other cases the partner may perceive such growth as negative or threatening to the relationship itself.  The perception of growth as being negative or threatening to a relationship can be a troubling point of contention.

In the context of male-female relationships Collective Growth is essential.  Simply stated, collective growth is the process of human transformation wherein a man and a woman grow together.  To illustrate this I would like to use an analogy that my flute teacher told me some 15 years ago:

There are two bushes.  One of the bushes has flowers blooming on it.  The other does not.  At first glance the flowering bush seems to be further along in its growth process.  But if you look closely you will find that these two bushes are not separate at all.  They are both connected to the same root!  In essence, these two bushes are in actuality one bush!

This is the Wholeness Principle at its core.  In the context of male-female relationships, all growth must be seen as part of a single root that connects the man to the woman and the woman to the man.

If my wife is blooming in one area of her life then so am I.  We are both connected to the same root.  If I am blooming in one area of my life then so is my wife.  We are both connected to the same root.

Grow together and you will know happiness.  Grow separately and you will grow apart.

Copyright (c) 2011 Lenon Honor

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4 Responses to “Formula for Successful Relationships: Collective Growth”

  1. positive thoughts says:

    True you have to appreciate and not neglect what you have in order to continue to grow yourself. Even if it means mending old wounds with others. Inhibit someone else’s growth and well-being, and you’re only hindering yourself.

  2. Give Love says:

    Loved the article. 100% with you on this. All couples should be together as one.

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