Formula for Successful Relationships: Self-Worth

Published on November 12, 2011 by in Uncategorized

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Lenon HonorIn my experience I have found that self-worth is the foundation of all relationships.  How you value yourself is fundamental in terms of the types of relationships that you will attract into your space.  If your self-worth is low then you will attract and engage in relationships wherein others will not value you.  If you place a high value on yourself then you will attract and engage in relationships wherein others will value you.  In this sense, the value that you place on yourself will be the value that will be returned to you in your relationships.

Many have been led to believe that attracting and experiencing a positive relationship is simply the result of being a good person, or being intelligent, or being extremely attractive, or having lots of money, or any other externally quantifiable quality.  However, attracting and experiencing a positive relationship has more to do with how you think about yourself, the value that you place on yourself, and what you believe you are deserving of.

To illustrate what I mean I would like to use the following examples:

Mary is a wonderful woman.  She is highly intelligent.  Many men find her to be extremely attractive.  She is financially secure.  She is responsible.  She is caring, gentle, and nurturing.

While all of these characteristics would make Mary an ideal mate, Mary does not see her value.  Mary has low self-esteem.  She has low self-worth.  She does not believe that she is intelligent.  She does not believe that she is attractive.  She does not believe that she is worthy of a positive relationship with a man.

Is it probable that Mary will attract a man into her life that will engage Mary in a positive relationship?  While it is possible it would not be probable in that Mary’s self-worth is low and therefore she will only attract males that will value her on the same level that she values herself.  Again, Mary has wonderful characteristics but the value that she places on herself supersedes these characteristics.  In other words, what Mary projects out to the world is her low self-worth and she will therefore attract into her space the types of males who are attracted to women of low self-worth.

Mary’s situation is further complicated by the fact that she does not believe that she is worthy of a positive relationship with a man.  Her lack of belief is directly related to her low level of self-worth.

Sarah is a wonderful woman.  She is not as intelligent as Mary.  She is not nearly as attractive as Mary.  Sarah has little money.  She is not as responsible as Mary but she is striving towards becoming more responsible.  She is not as caring, gentle, or nurturing as Mary but she is committed to personal growth.

While Sarah may not have all of the characteristics that would make her an ideal mate, Sarah does see her value.  She has high self-esteem.  Sarah knows that she is not the most intelligent person but she recognizes that she is becoming more intelligent each day.  Sarah does not compare herself to other women and she knows that she is beautiful inside and out.  Above all else Sarah knows that she is worthy of being in a positive relationship with an honorable man.  Given Sarah’s situation is it probable that Sarah will find herself in a positive relationship with an honorable man?  Absolutely!!!

Sarah’s self-worth is extremely high and therefore she will only attract honorable men into her life; men who will value her on the same level that she values herself.  Again, Sarah knows that she has much value and there are honorable men who are attracted to women who value themselves.  Sarah’s situation is further gifted by the fact that she knows that she is worthy of a positive relationship with an honorable man.  Her knowing is directly related to her high level of self-worth.

Trevor is a wonderful man.  He is highly intelligent.  Many women find him to be extremely attractive.  He is financially secure.  He is responsible.  He is caring, thoughtful, and kind.

While all of these characteristics would make Trevor an ideal mate, Trevor does not see his value.  Trevor has low self-esteem.  He has low self-worth.  He does not believe that he is intelligent.  He does not believe that he is attractive.  He does not believe that he is worthy of a positive relationship with a woman.

Is it probable that Trevor will attract a woman into his life that will engage Trevor in a positive relationship?  While it is possible it would not be probable in that Trevor’s self-worth is low and therefore he will only attract females that will value him on the same level that he values himself.  Again, Trevor has wonderful characteristics but the value that he places on himself supersedes these characteristics.  In other words, what Trevor projects out to the world is his low self-worth and he will therefore attract into his space the types of females who are attracted to men of low self-worth.

Trevor’s situation is further complicated by the fact that he does not believe that he is worthy of a positive relationship with a woman.  His lack of belief is directly related to his low level of self-worth.

Mike is a wonderful man.  He is not as intelligent as Trevor.  He is not nearly as attractive as Trevor.  Mike has little money.  He is not as responsible as Trevor but he is striving towards becoming more responsible.  He is not as caring, thoughtful, or as kind as Trevor but he is committed to personal growth.

While Mike may not have all of the characteristics that would make him an ideal mate, Mike does see his value.  Mike has high self-esteem.  He knows that he is not the most intelligent person but he recognizes that he is becoming more intelligent each day.  Mike does not compare himself to other men and he knows that he is attractive to pleasant women.  Above all else Mike knows that he is worthy of being in a positive relationship with a wonderful woman.  Given Mike’s situation is it probable that Mike will find himself in a positive relationship with a woman?  Absolutely!!!

Mike’s self-worth is extremely high and therefore he will only attract wonderful women into his life; women who will value him on the same level that he values himself.  Again, Mike knows that he has much value and there are wonderful women who are attracted to men who value themselves.  Mike’s situation is further gifted by the fact that he knows that he is worthy of a positive relationship with a woman.  His knowing is directly related to his high level of self-worth.

Conclusion:

If you place high value on yourself you will attract relationships that will be reflective of the value that you place on yourself.  You will also attract relationships that will nurture even greater levels of self-worth.

These things being said it is important that you are completely honest with the value that you place on yourself.  Understand that the value that you place on yourself must be your true value; nothing more or nothing less.

If the value that you place on yourself is lower than your true value then the universe will recognize that you are not prepared to receive a relationship that is reflective of your true value.  If the value that you place on yourself is higher than your true value then the universe will recognize that you have not done the personal work needed to be prepared to receive a relationship that is reflective of your true value.  Therefore, you must be absolutely honest with the value that you place upon yourself.

Valuing yourself is not an arbitrary process.  If one wishes to place high value on themselves they must be willing to look in the mirror and be honest about what they need to change in order to improve upon themselves.  They must be committed to improving upon themselves in all areas of their existence.  They must do the work needed to recognize and affirm their value.

I encourage you all to take every day as an opportunity to improve upon yourself.  As you engage in the process of personal refinement you will find that your self-worth, your self-esteem, and your personal value will be heightened.  You will then attract much more positive relationships.  Again, relationships are based upon the degree to which you value yourself.  Your value will be the result of the personal refinement that you engage in every single moment of your life.  If you do the work, if you refine yourself, if you improve upon your condition then you will command the highest level of self-worth.  As you continue in your process of personal growth please keep the following in mind:  The higher your value of self, the higher your relationship wealth.

Copyright © 2011 Lenon Honor

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9 Responses to “Formula for Successful Relationships: Self-Worth”

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