My oldest son is now 7 years old. I have had 7 years of growth as a father. Over those 7 years I have become strong, courageous, and resolute. But this was not always the case. A common occurrence, during and after pregnancy, is for young fathers to feel various levels of fear. I can say that when my first son was conceived I felt a great deal of fear. And even after he was born I often struggled with questions as to whether or not I would be able to function as a good father to my son.
One of the unfortunate social norms that I have observed is that the importance of fatherhood is not something that is spoken about openly with young males. In some cases this is the result of fathers not being present to instruct their sons. In other cases this is the result of a social expectation wherein men are not to speak about their fears; even if sharing those fears will help younger males to realize that fear is part of the growth process and that fear can be overcome.
I can only imagine what type of world this would be if all men made an absolute commitment to being present in their children’s lives. I can only imagine what type of world this would be if all men made an absolute commitment to giving careful attention to guiding their sons so as to prepare their sons for fatherhood. What a blessing this would be for young women to have an abundance of males to interact with; an abundance of males that have been given appropriate instruction and guidance from honorable men.
Appropriate instruction and guidance is invaluable. I know that if I had received appropriate instruction and guidance I would have been much further along in my process and would have been able to function as a better father to my children earlier on. I must also state that there have been times where instruction and guidance was offered to me by honorable men but I was unwilling to accept it. Why would I be unwilling to accept proper instruction and guidance?
It is often the case that men feel as if we must put on a cloak of invisibility, so that we do not appear to be weak or needy in any given area of our life. While I recognize the importance of projecting masculine strength, I also recognize that there are times when men must surrender to the truth that they need help with whatever challenges they may be facing. Surrendering to the truth that one needs help does not make a man weak. Surrendering to the truth that one needs help makes a man an honorable man!
I hope that this article helps other men to realize that it is ok to ask for help. Asking for help can open the door to receiving what you need in order to become a better husband, a better father, and a better man. In fact, if you are a young father I encourage you to talk to those honorable men around you. What they share with you can make a huge difference in your growth as a father. If you are unable to find honorable men in your surrounding space you can always contact me at: email@example.com
Above all else may we all recognize that young fathers need support too. This being the case, let us all do our part to help young fathers in any way possible. In so doing we assist in the fortification of male-female relationships, fatherhood, husbandhood, and the family institution.
Copyright © 2011 Lenon Honor